May 25, 2025

I’ve been wanting to write for a long time. I’ve been telling people about my desire to write, especially in the form of a blog — about all sorts of interesting things, ideas that come to mind out of the blue but feel like I could go on a journey with, if I persist enough in exploring them further. I no longer want to waste away these fleeting thoughts that come to me from time to time. And I guess the best way to start this journey is to write about a feeling that’s been lingering and growing within me for a while — my trip to Japan!

I recently did a ten day long trip to Japan, my first time visiting the country properly (I roamed around the streets of Tokyo for a single night a few years back but I don’t wish to count that in). I described the trip as a life altering experience, partly slipping into my ever so romanticizing self. An overarching feeling I had was that ten days were not enough by any stretch of the imagination. We (I and my friend Ravi) covered five cities within almost over a week and all the intermediate travel left me a bit jaded by the end. It was certainly not a vacation in the conventional sense. But I wouldn’t say that it spoiled the experience in any meaningful way for me. Perhaps because this was a spontaneous dive. I had little expectations of how I should be spending my time there (partly because I didn’t have the time to plan for it, and partly because that’s just how I like to travel). Japan is far. I flew from New York which was already a long journey (15+ hours easily on either leg). My sleep, which I’ve been obsessing over for quite a while now, was affected more than I would have liked, especially in the first few days. Staying at hostels played a major part in it I think. I wouldn’t really have it another way though. The hostels provided me with the opportunity to meet fellow travelers, of which I met quite a few — a one-of-its-kind enriching experience I wouldn’t get staying at fancy hotels.

But enough with the boring stuff! My first morning in Tokyo, I woke up quite early. I thought I could watch the sunrise but very soon realized that the sun was already beaming bright at 5 am (Tokyo falls an hour ahead of the standard Japan time technically but still follows the same timezone, and so the reference to ‘the land of the rising sun’). Anyhow, I decided to step out and go for a quick run. I ran next to the canal, in the Asakusa area, where my hostel was. And within the first few minutes of my run, I could sense a very different culture around me. It was hard to describe at the moment and still is. I could sense a bit of loneliness and a lot of calmness. Most people I came across were elderly and maybe that’s why I wasn’t filled with lots of excitement, something I might feel if I were visiting a city like nyc for the first time (which has a pretty young crowd). I ended up walking around the Senso-ji shrine after my run. It was relatively quiet at the time. Part of me felt a bit at home around it, with the sound of temple bells ringing, people doing their prayers and bowing to the deities. All of it seemed very familiar. I wasn’t too bothered by the rush of tourists in the place. I felt quiet and at peace, like my trip had started on a good note, and feeling as if I had already gotten the first sign of what is to come.

Over the course of the next few days, I felt increasingly curious and attracted towards things I would not have taken notice of or appreciated in the past — people following rules almost religiously (which side of the subway to walk on, where to queue up, not jay-walking even with no sight of traffic). There seemed to be power in doing things for the sake of doing them, like a practice, without asking why (which is very hard for me to do in general). Most people kept to themselves. They were extremely polite when talked to or when they greeted me at cafes or grocery stores (a guy bowed to me thrice the first morning at the billing counter. I had only bought a packet of almond milk for god’s sake). The idea that there wasn’t any rush to be somewhere or to be someone was very apparent to me throughout my observations. I’m not an anxious person generally, but my anxiety was especially at ease throughout my time in Japan. I felt like I could just be myself. Not in the sense that I pretend to be someone I’m not elsewhere. But that I did not need to chase anything with much force. You could be yourself while still wanting to get somewhere in life, a perfect balance of sorts. I did not feel like I wanted to get somewhere else. And that’s a powerful feeling to experience, especially if it is within a chaotic city of 30 million+ people. I feel that way when I’m in nature, but never in such an environment, for this long a period of time.

My sense was that Japan was the clearest example of living in a high functioning society with values that differ so drastically from what any other place I’ve been to. The contrast is even more distinct if I compare it to what I know of the US, where freedom seems to be the driving force. You can do whatever you want, be whoever you wish to be, and think, and even more importantly, act as freely as possible. I’ve always had some trouble digesting that last part completely. Acting as freely as one can could lead to chasing short term pleasure in my eyes. I’m always weary of such behavior for myself. You see the next sparkling thing and because nobody puts a constraint on how you should behave, you’re free to chase it. This isn’t bad by itself. After all, it ensures exploration of ideas, which is key for finding who you are and what you want. But it also makes people susceptible to being trapped in this game forever, which then comes at the price of not acting towards something long term, things which take time and patience. I witnessed so much patience in Japan, which I consider to be a higher value (the Gita says this too I believe, in its distinction between higher and lower values).

The part of India I grew up in, and parts of US where I’ve lived so far, also have an innate aggression in how people behave and communicate. I mean this in the most positive way possible by the way. People are direct and it is clear that the individual matters more than the collective in most cases (this is true more for the US I think than India though). To the contrary, I felt Japan lacked such aggression completely. People are soft spoken not just in their tone, but also in their behavior. It’s as if they’re constantly checking themselves for crossing a self-defined boundary for what is appropriate and what is not. I’m sure it comes with time, as you practice such behavior more. I felt immense beauty in this way of life (and in the idea that one could come to live it if they spent enough time practicing it). But I’m still left thinking it could make someone like me feel a bit suffocated. Like if I wanted to, I could scream to the top of my lungs anywhere in the world but in Japan. In Japan, I could only let out a whimper, slowly and gracefully.

Maybe if I lived there for longer, or if I were born into the culture, I would not feel this way. But maybe I still would. The answer isn’t clear to me at all at this point. I’m sure there are more nuances to life in Japan that I’m missing completely. After all, I’ve only had a limited experience of it thus far. But the thoughts it had elicited within me have been profound to some degree. For one, I feel more confident in chasing and living by higher values for myself. Since the past couple of years, I had been drifting away from such a want in the excuse of being more carefree. I certainly want to be carefree in life (I think I already am to a good extent) but I must tread this path carefully. Living by values I believe in, like patience and being gentle and kind to everyone around me, gives me a lot of joy when I practice it for a long enough period. Another reason is that living a life with high standards requires more hard work than to just live it how it comes, especially if you’re comfortable in a financial and social status sense. But a big part of me wants to do the hard thing, just because it is hard. Japan has provided me with a new found confidence in choosing to live by those standards, while still being the carefree self I want to be. That is probably the biggest takeaway from my trip. That is why I called it to be a life altering experience in some ways. I would love to go back there again, with a fresher perspective towards accepting whatever the new Japan would have to offer to a new me. Till then, I would practice what it has taught me.

There is so much more I could write but I already sense that this piece is starting to become a rambling of thoughts than something more concise and well thought out. I would like these posts to be a mix between the two ideally. I must confess I’m not super satisfied with how I’ve written this post but I think that’s fine. The more important thing to do is to start. Write and then write more until it starts to feel the most authentic. And so I’m going to leave this to be as is for now :)